“The Day I Felt I Had No One to Support Me”
It was the beginning of my night shift. Just as I started, the relative I was living with called and told me, “Shift your luggage tomorrow. Find yourself a new place to stay.” I stood there, completely shocked, unsure of what to do or say. My heart felt like it cracked open—filled with fear and confusion.
The only person I could think of calling was my boyfriend. I told him what happened and broke down crying. After listening for a while, he tried to calm me down.
I gathered myself somehow and returned to work, deciding to face whatever would come in the morning.That night was one of the hardest of my life. I kept wondering where I would go the next day. My body was present, but my mind was drowning in worry.
When morning came, I was scared to go back to the house. With a heavy heart, I held my breath, closed my eyes, and stepped inside to ask them what was wrong.They told me I was the reason they were having fights in their home. That I was causing problems. I felt shattered—because I had never interfered in anything. I always kept to myself, never asked them for favors, barely spoke unless necessary. And yet, I was the one blamed.
After that day, I cried constantly—every minute, every second. I couldn’t even tell my parents. I feared they would ask me to leave my job. In fact, the same relatives even suggested I quit and go back home. My heart broke—I didn’t want to leave my job, not like this.That day, I had nowhere to go, and I was too exhausted after the night shift to search for a new place. I hadn’t slept, and I was mentally drained.
On top of it all, I had a fight with my boyfriend—he blamed me too. He didn’t try to help, didn’t stand by me when I needed him most. I cut ties with him for a week, needing space to breathe.I remember looking up and asking God, “Do I really deserve this—from everyone?” That’s when it truly hit me: I had no one. All the support I thought I had—it felt like a lie. Relationships felt empty, just names without meaning.
The next morning, I was terrified to go back “home.” My shift ended at 8 a.m., but I stayed at work until 9:30—just afraid to leave. I didn’t have the courage to step out and start finding a place. All my life, I had someone behind me—guiding, helping. And suddenly, I was all alone.Eventually, I gathered some strength and reached out to a friend. He agreed to help. I went to a restaurant to eat something small and wait for him. I sat there for an hour, barely touching my food. Then I stepped out, waiting elsewhere. I was surrounded by people, yet I felt so alone. Strangers glanced at me, and their looks made me even more afraid. I wanted to cry but held myself together.
When my friend arrived, we started searching for rooms—but luck wasn’t on my side. We didn’t find anything. One of my relatives even called my parents and told them what had happened. My parents were shocked. They reminded my relatives that they had said I was their responsibility—how could they abandon me like this?My mom called me, crying. She said they had no idea this would happen to me. She asked, “Should we come there to help you?” I froze. I thought, Shouldn’t they come without asking?
But maybe I was expecting too much. I knew it would be hard for them to come, so after a pause, I said, “You don’t have to come. I’ll manage.” They agreed—and after that, they began calling me every morning and night.I told myself, “I can do this. Even if no one is truly there for me, I have to be there for myself.”
After 2–3 days of staying in an environment that felt unbearable, I finally shared everything with a few of my senior staff. They were just a few years older than me—but when they heard my story, they genuinely wanted to help. They spoke to the right people, and soon, I was offered a room in the hospital campus.It was an old room with a tin roof and two windows. Every morning and night, I could hear pigeons cooing from above. Still, it felt like the most peaceful sound in the world—because the place was mine.
I finally had a roof over my head, and my own little space.Some staff even gave me kitchen items to help me settle in. I was overwhelmed with gratitude. I thanked God for sending these kind souls to me when I had no one else.That day changed me. It broke me—but it also built me. And to those who stood by me, even as strangers, I will forever be thankful.
And in the end…
That day, I felt like an empty soul—hollow, without strength, without the courage to fight everything happening around me. I began to question myself… Was this my fault? Or something about the way I was raised?
I’m sorry for even doubting my upbringing, but the truth is—being the youngest in the family, I always had someone behind me. In every situation, every hardship, my parents and family were always there. I never had to face anything completely alone.
Maybe that’s why I never truly learned how to stand tall on my own. I’m not blaming them—not at all—but I can’t help but wonder: Where did it go wrong? What was missing?